I have been meaning to document this conversation for a couple of months now.
So back in March Lucy and I were driving home from watching Ivy play netball on a Saturday, Luce was still in a moon boot and not playing sport.
On the way home I asked if she put her tooth out the night before for the tooth fairy. To this she said "Really mum, the tooth fairy?" I said what do you mean? She said "I don't believe in fairies" I said "well where does the money and notes and fairy dust come from" and she said "I don't know where does it come from? Your telling the story Luce, where do you think it comes from?" She wasn't impressed with this and said "just tell me, is it you?" in a very non chalent way. I said "are you sure you want to know" she got a bit annoyed and insisted on the truth. So I told her that it was us that put the money out. She then said "what about the easter bunny?" This was right before easter, I decided to leave it and said, no he's real. She rolled her eyes and said "seriously mum is it you too?" I denied it for a while until she really insisted and told her the truth. Well what happened next I was not expecting!
My poor baby cried her eyes out for hours. She was so upset and heartbroken and devastated, all I can say is, I wish I had not told the truth. I felt awful, she felt awful, she was genuinely sad and shattered.
She then asked about Santa .... not falling for this one twice! Deny Deny Deny!!!
Later that night she cornered me on the couch and said, "I can't take the lies anymore, you've been lying to me my whole life, please tell me the truth. Are you Santa?"
What could I say! It was lose lose. I told the truth. It broke her again.
We had loads of discussions about it all night and Harry was beautiful and told her all the good things that still happen, and that Christmas is still just as exciting.
Funnily she was most concerned that the Elf - Zac Jack, was not real and that Harry had touched him!
I gave her the letter that I had printed, the beautiful Santa letter explaining that she is now part of a bigger thing and has to keep the magic alive.
She was pretty blown away with all the things we had done over the years.
I am pretty devastated that my baby doesn't believe and that chapter in our lives is over. I get sad that by three beautiful babies are growing up, but love that they are all beautiful humans. I could not love each one more if I tried. I feel so lucky and proud.
